What It’s Like to Work With Me? A Client Interview with Michelle

Hiring a coach is a big commitment. I wanted to offer you some input from my clients so you can hear from them what it’s like to work with me.

I interviewed Michelle, a client that I’m working with around intuitive eating and body image, and asked her a few questions. With her permission, I transcribed our conversation and I’m sharing it here.

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Tara: 

Why did you want to work with me?

Michelle:   

I saw your posts on Instagram and I just immediately connected to the struggle and the positive messages that I saw. And then I started listening to your podcast. And I loved it. I called (and we talked). It was exactly the kind of help I was looking for. I just deeply connected with your message.

Tara:  

What were some of your biggest concerns about working with me before we started?

Michelle:

I was so fried and burnt out over all the dieting experiences that I said “it's not a diet, it's a food plan” conversation. I hoped that there was a solution in this that didn't involve language that really was a diet but doesn't use the word diet. And I have never, ever heard about intuitive eating.

All of your information was not part of something I've ever run into. So my reservation, my hesitation was, I hope this isn't another one of those, you know? And it wasn't. It's exactly what I was looking for. Exactly.

I very much like the integration of the energy work that we do, along with the (coaching) conversations because I craved exactly what we're doing for a long time. I just didn't know how to find that person.

Tara:  

Yeah, it seems like what we're doing here just fits so beautifully for you. I love that.

What has been your favorite part of doing this work?

Michelle:

I really needed to heal over trauma. I knew that I needed to work on it. But I don't think I understood the connection between food, my behaviors, my thinking, and my experiences with trauma and, and I saw it as two different things that needed to be worked on. 

My favorite thing is that I'm getting at layers that I couldn't access. I just could never access it before working with you. I knew then they were there. I knew that they hurt. And honestly, I think that your advice, your thoughts, where you lead me is just brilliant. I had no idea about these connections. You're just helping me to link all of this. You know, just to peel it back and work on it. 

As hard as it is to work on this kind of stuff, I’m always (I know, it sounds crazy) looking forward to meeting with you. Because I feel like there's answers. It's not just visiting these triggers or visiting these moments. There's answers. So (our work together) doesn't leave me feeling like I'm hanging out there with this (hard stuff).

Tara: 

What has been the biggest transformation that you've gotten so far?

Michelle: 

The biggest transformation is around my body image. When I get dressed, I think about being comfortable and feeling confident. I don't want to say I've let go of all of my obsessive negative thinking about myself and my body image. I have moments where it comes back and it comes hard. But I've opened up a lot more, and I'm a lot more kind to myself. I'm not swinging between the extremes. I'm just more in the middle (and feel more neutral about my body). 

I'm not focused on a number and forcing that number to fit anymore. I'm not focusing on that. I'm focusing on comfort. I've actually started having thoughts like, “If this is not comfortable, you should get a pair of pants that are comfortable.” I’m not really even thinking about the numbers, which is a huge change for me. Huge.

Tara:  

Thanks for sharing that. That's awesome. What surprised you the most about working with me?

Michelle:  

Well, other than the fact that I couldn't actually believe that I connected with you. And not just to people that work for you. Once I got over that, I think that I'm actually really surprised at how related past trauma is to my food behaviors. I think that was like one of the biggest aha moments.   

It's amazing what it's been like to find (you) the right person at the right time. I really get a lot out of our session. I'm telling you a lot during our time together. And I use it (your tools and strategies). They are  incredibly helpful to me. I can't believe how much I've grown in such a short time. 

I've learned how to just notice more. And not be as checked out. 

Tara:

That's awesome to hear.  And you've done the hard work.  Who would you recommend me to?

Michelle:  

I think anyone who's sick and tired of running on this little hamster wheel, trying to fix things and going back and forth and yo-yoing up and down (with dieting). Those struggling with understanding their thinking about food and where it's coming from. I think people who really want to change and feel ready for change. That's the perfect person. 

I think you could help like anybody, because I hear people talking who don't necessarily have food issues, but talk diet speak all the time. I feel like everybody could really benefit from undoing some of their beliefs and learn what I have from you. 

Tara: 

Thank you so much.  It’s really nice to hear all of those things and hear that you are noticing the impact our work together is having on you. 

Michelle: 

The freedom I've gotten from talking and making connections (around food and body image) and the effect that it has on me as I move forward has been so powerful. I'm incredibly grateful to you.

Tara:  

I'm grateful to work with you too!  It's really been a pleasure.

What it's Like To Work With Me: A Client Interview with Grace

Hiring a coach is a big commitment. I wanted to offer you some input from my clients so you can hear from them what it’s like to work with me.

I interviewed Grace, a client that I’m working with around intuitive eating and body image, and asked her a few questions. With her permission, I transcribed our conversation and I’m sharing it here.

TW:  

What was it that made you want to work with me?

Grace: 

Our college connection and that history. I feel like you're very gentle in your understanding of where I'm coming from and you get me. Even today, you brought me back in a gentle way to seeing the bigger picture. So, yeah. I guess your personality.

TW:

Did you have any concerns or worries about working with me before we started?

Grace:

Going into anything coming from a diet background, you worry about how it was going to line up with that with what the work I'm doing with my naturopath.  Wondering what the restrictions were going to be or what I was going to have to do. Also not really understanding intuitive eating, and wondering what are the rules going to be? Not understanding that there really aren't rules, that's the whole point of it.

TW:

Do you have a favorite part of doing this work?

Grace:

I like the check-ins with you. Even today you just really brought me back. I've been ruminating and worrying and you're able to recenter me so I can go off for another couple of weeks and do this work with a clear mind.  You know how to work through the issues, whatever issues there are.  Every week, it's been different. The personal interaction is great. That's important.

TW

What’s the biggest transformation you've had so far working together?

Grace: 

My freedom. The freedom to not be obsessed with food every waking moment and wondering what I'm going to eat next. Or worrying because I ate that, and I can't eat this. I can’t articulate enough how much freedom I have and how my mind is not stressed. (Before we started working together), I literally was focusing on food all the time. And now I have time to focus on other things in my life. I'm also thinking and feeling encouragement to get back into movement and your suggestions about different ways to do that. I have found that helpful, too. The freedom is overwhelmingly the biggest benefit that I've seen. 

TW: 

Has anything surprised you about working with me?

Grace:  

Everything (we’ve been working on) goes against everything I've ever been taught. The biggest thing was you explaining to me that my body was in deprivation mode and then actually seeing that come to fruition. (Before this work), I literally was craving chocolate chips and could not live without them. And then that went away. There’s some residual mental stuff I still need to work on but the physical stuff went away once I balanced what was going into my body.

TW:  

Is there anyone you would recommend me to? 

Grace:

People going through the whole menopause situation, (what it does to your body and thus to the weight of your body) and trying to fight that. (You can help) people understand that and have freedom to go through this natural process without worrying about the weight piece of it. That would be so awesome for people to know. 

I also think a lot about how I can get you to talk to my girl scouts troop or to my daughter or to kids. Because if they have this knowledge at the beginning of their journey before the world starts bombarding them,  what a gift that is. It's a delicate thing to talk to girls in their teenage years about their bodies and about what they're putting into it. It has to be handled very carefully. But I think that would be a gift.

What It's Like To Work With Me: A Client Interview with Barbara

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Hiring a coach is a big commitment. I wanted to offer you some input from my clients so you can hear from them what it’s like to work with me.

I interviewed Barbara, a client that I’m working with around intuitive eating and body image, and asked her a few questions. With her permission, I transcribed our conversation and I’m sharing it here.

Tara: 

Why did you want to work with me? What about me drew you? 

Barbara: 

I first started listening to your podcast. And I liked your gentle approach in interviewing guests and talking with people and presenting information. And I felt like it would be a good fit for me too. 

When we got on a call, I just felt very connected to you. You just have this air of gentleness, but non judgmental and ease about talking to you. And I just felt like I could really open up to you.  

Tara: 

Thank you for that. Did you have any concerns or worries about working with me before we started? 

Barbara: 

I wasn't really sure about how this would go. And to be honest, food and body and diet is so shame filled for me that I was pretty worried about it being too vulnerable or too, just too much. While it has been meaningful and moving, I've never felt like it's been too much. 

You're definitely meeting me right where I am and helping me think differently, but not pushing so much that I'm uncomfortable, in a bad way. It’s like being uncomfortable in a good way to make a change. I don't feel uncomfortable, or pushed, I feel guided and coached.

Tara: 

I'm so glad. Do you have a favorite part of this work?

Barbara:  

I really enjoy hearing your perspective. You'll come in with like, “this is what has worked for me” or “when I started this is how I started thinking, but now I'm thinking differently”. I like knowing I'm not alone in any of this. And with you having experience here. I just feel heard. 

Tara: 

What would you say the biggest transformation is that you've gotten so far?

Barbara:   

It's the realization that diet culture is everywhere. And diet culture is more than diet culture, it influences my perfectionism traits, and how I want to be a people pleaser, and  be well liked. All of those kinds of things. I'm seeing that it all really stems from food and diet and diet culture and the messages that I received from my family or from the media throughout my life.

Being able to just recognize it and notice it without unconsciously devouring it like I was before. Before it was just part of my life. And now I can look at it and go, “Oh, that's what that is. I get it, I can opt out of it.” 

Tara:

Love that. Was there anything that surprised you about working with me?

Barbara:   

This isn't a surprise, but I really wanted it to be a switch that I could flip and all of a sudden be that intuitive eater. Our early conversations about distinguishing hunger surprised me that it was so hard for me or that I was so broken from that part of my body. It's not a good or bad surprise, but I was “Oh, I'm really disconnected.”  And you know, that's been good for me to know that..

Tara: 

Who would you recommend me to?

Barbara: 

I would recommend you to anyone who has any sort of food issues, eating issues, diet issues, or body image issues. As a way to examine how those thoughts got there in the first place and ways to dismantle them. So they can live a freer and easier existence. 

Tara: 

That's perfect. Barbara, thank you so much. I appreciate that. 

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If you’d like to explore working me, schedule a clarity call with me using this calendar link.

What It’s Like To Work With Me: a client interview with Nicole

Hiring a coach is a big commitment. I wanted to offer you some input from my clients so you can hear from them what it’s like to work with me.

I interviewed Nicole, a client that I’m working with around intuitive eating and body image, and asked her a few questions. With her permission, I transcribed our conversation and I’m sharing it here.

TW: What made you want to work with me?

Nicole: You seemed really kind. This is hard stuff. Also, in all transparency, I was like, is she going to be too touchy feely? Is she going to be telling me to drink certain herbal teas and that'll save my life? I was a little nervous about that. I predict in a year, or even less, intuitive eating is gonna hit, it's gonna hit a  tipping point. And you're going to be like this front end person. You might not feel like you're the front end person, but you really, really are. So I think that's gonna happen. And we're gonna be like, oh, yeah, we knew that.

TW: What were some worries or concerns that you had with working with me before we started?

Nicole: I was worried, as I've done many different diets. I didn't think it was going to be a diet, but I didn't really know what it was going to be. And that's been a fun thing to expand, that has expanded over time. So I didn't know what it was going to be. And how much was going to be expected of me. 

I find that there's a lot expected of me, but it's done gently. And it's done at my pace. It's not every week coming here going, and saying, “I didn't do what I said I was gonna do, I failed”.  But it's not judgmental. It's just like, let's talk about that. It would be really hard for me if you were full of what I should do.  

You're very good at saying “you might want to”, or “here's something that you might want to try”. That's so different from “here is what you should really do”. It allows me to make the choice. You have great things to offer and I can pick the things I like that work for me. 

TW: What’s your favorite part of this work?

Nicole: I enjoy thinking about the wins. And often I find I didn't think I had any wins and then I did. Sometimes I think, oh, I don't have any wins and within five minutes of talking to you, I'm always like, like, yes I did. It's a very empowering feeling. It’s stretching a muscle. The more I do that, the better I get at that.

TW: What’s the biggest transformation you've had with working together?

Nicole: I definitely eat more real food. And recognizing that I actually like a lot of foods. I didn't realize that I did. I eat a lot of different foods now. 

I would say feeling successful, even though I still have so far to go and many things to do. That is such a nice feeling. It's what keeps me coming back. It's not Pollyanna-ish. It's not a job. It's like, I believe it when I come here and talk to you and I have a good thing happen, or I don't, it's real. 

TW: Is there anything surprising about working with me?

Nicole: The thing that surprises me is that I am still this engaged and interested and motivated.  And probably even more as time goes by. And I think that comes with building a trusting relationship, too.  Just feeling like, wow, this is really valuable. I can’t wait to talk about what was good this week, there are things that are positive. And then the next week that builds on that. But even on a bad week, I take something away. And that's a gift.

TW: Is there anyone that you would recommend me to?

Nicole:  This is very feministic work. Not that you wouldn't work with guys. But for me, it feels very much in that vein, and there's something there that other feminists would speak to them.

Client Case Study: Passionate Entrepreneur Stops Dieting, Expands Her Business and Accepts Her Body

After spending a few years practicing Intuitive Eating on her own, Allison (not her real name) came to me because she noticed a few challenges that she couldn’t solve on her own. She was still doing some night time eating, even though she knew she wasn't hungry. She also came home from a recent vacation with her family and had a really hard time seeing pictures of herself. She wanted a better self-image of her body. 

Allison and I worked together for 12 sessions. Here are some of the tools and guidance I offered her. 

Tuning into Needs

Allison is incredibly focused and loves working hard in the business she’s so passionate about. Yet, she was putting her families and clients needs ahead of her own. Most days, she would choose to work without a break for lunch. At the end of the day, she felt depleted, exhausted and resentful. As Allison started to recognize her need for space and rest, she found it easier to make caring for herself a priority.  

Awareness of Hunger

One of the side effects of dieting is putting off and dismissing hunger signals. I shared with her what hunger signals to look for. As Allison increased her awareness around hunger, she realized that she was waiting too long to eat. As she started to eat when she felt pleasantly hungry, she started to enjoy her meals more. 

Letting Go of the Shoulds

Allison noticed she was carrying over some old food rules that had her feeling guilty. As she noticed them, named them and let them go, she gave herself permission to create her own habits and patterns around food that fit her life and schedule. 

Slowing Down to Connect

Allison noticed how her life felt like a sprint and she was always short on time. She started to use some grounding and breathing exercises that helped her slow down and tune into her body. She also gave herself permission to have more space in her days so she could enjoy time with her family and friends. 

Body Image Upgrade

By tuning into her self-talk, Allison realized that she was worried that she was gaining weight. This was a pattern of thinking she had since she was young. When she noticed it, she was able to challenge the belief and bring her thinking back to the present moment. Now, she no longer has this inaccurate thought plaguing her and she feels a lot lighter. 

Noticing Body Sensations

Using a few different techniques and approaches, Allison found a way to notice sensations in her body. This awakening has helped her tune into simple signals from the body like when she feels energized and passionate and when she feels depleted. She’s able to use this awareness around self-care, but also in her business and relationships. 

Favorite Mantra

“Where your focus goes, energy flows” really resonated with her because she acknowledged the choice that she always has to change and shift what she’s focused on. 

As we were winding down our time together, Allison shared that she saw some pictures of her and her family over the Easter holiday. Instead of the dread she felt from seeing the family vacation pictures a few shorts months ago, she felt neutral. She described it as saying to herself “Oh, that’s me.” And it barely impacted her. 

Now that she’s practicing embodiment and has a deeper practice of intuitive eating, Allison’s felt even more free around food and has been able to focus her energy on her family and her sleep consulting business. She’s been able to expand her business by hiring resources and outsourcing pieces that were exhausting her. She’s even given herself time on Fridays for downtime, hikes with friends and self-care. 

Client Case Study - Julie: Trusting the Process To Feel Balanced Around Food and Love Her Body

A mutual friend shared one of my short courses on social media. Julie (not her real name) signed up right away. After the course, Julie and I worked together in my 3 month One-to-One Coaching program.  After a year, I interviewed her for this client case study.

Julie was struggling with food. She was restricting and overeating and knew it was taking too much of her time and energy. She also didn’t like her body, which really bothered her. She wanted to accept her body, but she didn’t want to gain weight. 

Allowing All Foods

When Julie started to give herself permission to eat what she previously labeled “forbidden” foods, it was really scary.  She had to keep letting go of this fear, so she could eventually trust her instincts. 

She learned to recognize that scared voice that said “you can’t have that” and knew this voice couldn’t be trusted. This took time. 

She called 2020 the year of ice cream. She allowed herself ice cream when she wanted it. She kept allowing herself guilt-free ice cream and enjoyed each bite. 

This process of habituation is an important one and is unique for each person. While allowing yourself foods that you had previously forbidden, those foods eventually lose their novelty. Instead of eating them with guilt, shame, or because you want to treat yourself, these foods become emotionally neutral and you feel indifferent to them. 

Eventually, something changed. Ice cream stopped having power over her.

Julie is now free to have all foods that she likes to have in her home without worrying that she’ll overindulge. She also knows that if she wants to, she can overindulge, and that’s okay. 

Exploring How To Value Herself

Julie and I explored some deeper themes around how she valued herself. She became aware of the beliefs and patterns that made her feel bad about herself and she saw the role that food played. 

She could see that when she didn’t feel good enough, she could identify the external expectations and outside influences that drove her to diet, to begin with.

As she gained awareness that it wasn’t her, it was outside of her, she could take her own power back and value herself on her own terms. 

Specifically, the impact of this transformation came through in her relationship with her body and her dating life. 

Letting Go of the (Unrealistic) Thin Ideal

Julie started to change the dialogue she had in her head about her body. She shared with me how she talks to her body now, which sounds like a beautiful companionship. 

She shared: 

“Maybe this is just who I’m meant to be. If I just accept that my body is what it is, and I’m eating healthy and feeling good, then I don’t have to change it. I may never be that skinny version of me, but my body is changing and it’s still amazing.” 

I’m Happy On My Own

Julie realized that if people were judging her for how she looked, she didn’t want them in her life. She was able to come to a genuine place of liking herself, including being okay with being on her own. She realized that companionship for the sake of being with someone wasn’t going to help her like herself. 

Julie has dropped an old narrative that she’s frumpy and middle-aged and embodies her own vitality and zest for life.

She now knows how to move forward, adjust her direction as needed and be flexible when life throws her unexpected curve balls. 

If I gain weight, I gain weight

Initially, Julie gained weight. And as hard as it was, she was okay with that. She was working through bigger things. 

She shared “If this brings me back to a place of balance, I’m going to trust the process. And it did.” Eventually, the weight that came on, came off.

A few other things that helped Julie was: 

• Reading my book Hungry: Trust Your Body and Free Your Mind around Food. This gave her compassion for her own journey and an appreciation for how long the journey may take. 

• Recognizing that her voice in her head doesn’t matter and that she can let her thoughts go. 

• Getting an understanding of what she was really fearful of and what to do with those fears.

Food Freedom and Body Appreciation

“I opened a sleeve of girl scout cookies, ate a couple, came back because I wanted a couple more. Then, I was satisfied. 

A year or so ago, I wouldn’t have done that. I didn’t eat the whole sleeve.”

“I’m in a really good place. It’s taken time. I had to let things go and trust in a process that seems scary. Our sessions allowed me to dig and explore what I may not have on my own. You gave me the tools to continue to do the work that I needed to do in my own time.

Thank you for the work we did together- it was a wonderful experience for me and I would recommend it to anyone.”

As she continues to appreciate her body and her relationship with food doesn’t have power over her, her body weight has adjusted. (Weight loss was not a focus of the work Julie and I did together).  

I’m personally inspired by Julie’s undeniable respect and admiration she has for her own body. She recently had surgery that has left scars on her lower belly.  

She told me, “My body is beautiful. I think my scars are gorgeous.”