You may not be able to change weight bias, but you can change how you react to it
This article is the first in a series addressing the challenges that women with larger bodies and those with poor body image face in corporate America and what they can do about it.
I’m choosing to use the terms “larger bodies” and “higher weight”. Even though “fat” can simply be a descriptor, like “short” or “tall, it’s widely used in our culture as an insult. I could use the term “fat” as a way of reclaiming its meaning as a simple descriptor. For this article, I’m choosing not to use the term “fat” because my body is average-sized. I buy clothes that fit me off the rack. I have not lived in a larger body and can’t share my experience of this. I’m sharing my observations from clients and from my own experience as someone who had poor body image in the past.
Body Size and Body Image
I won’t assume that every woman with a larger body has a poor body image. I also know that women with average or slim-sized bodies have poor body image. Although I’m sharing here the struggles women with larger bodies may face because of their size, some of these struggles may come from their body image. Therefore, you may have an average-sized body and feel confronted with these obstacles in the workplace.
Meet Carol
In a recent market research interview, Carol (not her real name) shared her experience of her weight in the workplace. “When I first started here, I was at my thinnest and got attention from the owner of the company. He would stop by my desk, chat and ask me what I was working on. I had an injury during the pandemic shutdown and couldn’t work out. I’ve gained weight. Now, when I’m in the office, he barely notices me. I wonder if he doesn’t recognize me. Now that I think about it, when I look around the office, most of the consultants (that work with clients) that he hires are all thin.”
Weight Bias
Carol’s experience with her boss at work may have everything to do with her weight, or there may be other factors involved. Yet, the research is clear. Weight bias in the workplace is significant, primarily because of the stereotypes employers have of higher-weight people. This qualitative review shows that people in larger bodies are assumed to be less motivated, conscientious, trusted, and reliable. They’re believed to be emotionally unstable, have lower interpersonal skills, and are less productive. As a result, people in larger bodies are at a higher risk of being discriminated against around hiring and promotion decisions.
Women in larger bodies are trying to survive working in environments that may not value or respect them because of weight bias. It’s challenging to change and shift a company’s culture and individual belief systems. But you can be aware of how you’re reacting to this bias by being more aware of these inner obstacles.
Here are five obstacles that you’re likely facing.
#1: You feel invisible.
This is how Carol felt. It may be subtle or overt. Not only do you feel like you’re not acknowledged when you walk in the room, but you also don’t get addressed or spoken to. You may feel paranoid around this, except you notice that when your counterpart who is in a smaller body gets more attention than you do.
This may feel conflicting. You don’t like not being acknowledged or noticed. But you may also not feel safe to be visible because of your body.
#2: Proving yourself is as important as ever.
Some ambitious women with poor body image will do whatever it takes to prove themselves as competent and effective, as a way of ensuring their body size isn’t an obstacle. What’s wrong with that? you ask.
Proving yourself is an exhaustive and never-ending endeavor. Women often sacrifice their health and sanity by putting in long hours at work and forgoing other activities in life that support their health and happiness. They aren’t just trying to do high-quality work, they are trying to show the world they’re worth because they see their body size as a problem.
#3: You need to show co-workers and clients that you’re trying to lose weight. And you’re suspecting they assume you’re trying.
While at a business lunch with a client, you don’t think twice about what you order to eat. Something light, like a salad with grilled chicken or soup. Or, you’ll make sure that you don’t eat the full meal, and ask the server for a take-out box.
It’s stressful to feel other people watching what you eat. One client shared that avoids eating in the cafeteria and just snacks on a granola bar at her desk. She waits to eat when she’s in the privacy of her own home.
#4: You may be preoccupied with your weight and food.
We live in a culture where dieting is normal. Women with larger bodies are being told their body is a problem, and dieting is the most common “solution” given to them. Yet, dieting doesn’t lead to long-term weight loss. Instead, dieters are distracted, often feel guilty and ashamed, feel like a failure, and are consumed with how to lose weight. This takes a tremendous amount of time and energy, things that the ambitious woman in the workplace doesn’t have much to spare.
#5: You hide.
Many women with poor body image see their bodies as something wrong or bad. Hiding, which can include not showing up and being seen in public and covering up in dark or oversized clothes, is a tactic used to keep people from judging their bodies. If they aren’t seen, they won’t be looked up and down in disdain or receive comments about their weight.
These struggles pose challenges to your own professional advancement, health, and happiness.
How can you share your ideas, take risks, and ask for more responsibility and more exposure, if you’re hiding, preoccupied and feeling (and being) judged?
Now that I’ve shared what these five struggles are, in my next article I’ll share how they impact you.
Would you be willing to share your experience with your weight in the workplace?