I would roll my eyes at bubble baths and sleeping in past 6 am. I dismissed it for years and on the surface, still do. Interestingly enough, I take better care of myself now than I ever did. Here is what shifted for me.
Firstly, I’m a productivity junky. I love waking up in the morning knowing I’ve got some important things to tackle. I love the satisfaction of wrapping up a day knowing I’ve moved a project forward or been impactful for my clients.
Being busy and accomplished has offered me a way to feel good about myself. I think this is at the heart of most resistance around self-care for folks. Taking time for themselves may not fill their cup when they can spend the time on a project or meet a deadline that makes those around them happy.
I recognize the potential trap. Our culture has taught us to value productivity and the “go-go” mentality. But when we only see ourselves as a working machine, we’ve lost sight of how we know how to value and know ourselves. The truth is that we don’t need to earn our value, we are worthy because we are here. But for many busy professionals, it’s easy to forget this. When we perform well, we get rewarded with a promotion, raise or landing new business that contributes to the growth of our company.
Recognizing this polarity is important. A part of you that values busyness and productivity. The other part may not value downtime and time for rest. When you’re not producing, who are you?
Your productivity may be the way you know yourself.
I realized about 10 years ago that how I was working (I was running three separate businesses) wasn’t sustainable or healthy. I said yes to everything and didn’t honor or respect my basic needs of sleep or well-being.
At the time, if you suggested self-care to me, I would have lost it. It’s like when someone says to you, “Take a deep breath.” That may be what you need, but you don’t want to be told to do it.
This is why I’m not going to suggest self-care to you.
Everything changed when I allowed myself to have needs. I realized that I wasn’t weak because I needed to care for myself. I started to value feeling relaxed and well-rested. I started to value being creative. I valued how my body felt when I took a few breaths of fresh air. I was also surprised that my productivity and creativity sky-rocketed when my basic needs were met. When I was depleted, I had little to offer my work.
That’s when I took responsibility for my health and well-being. I took responsibility for my productivity.
You’re the only one that can care for yourself.
I came to realize that I was responsible for my needs. No one was going to jump in and know what I needed. I had to slow down, check in and prioritize myself.
I’m not sure what the name of this is. Self-care is probably accurate, but along the way, it got a bad rap for being all about bubble baths and pedicures.
So, resist self-care all you want. I’m with you. But please, take responsibility for your well-being.