business start up

When “Needing To Put Yourself out There” Stresses You Out

Safe Visibility Is the Answer

Advancing yourself professionally means you need to be visible. You may be contemplating a job change. Or you’re going after a promotion. Or you want to start your own business. Folks need to know you, see you and hear you before they hire you, promote you or buy from you. 

There are plenty of ways to be visible. You can expand your network and reconnect with some old colleagues. You can get yourself to a few networking events. Inside your organization, you can pull the curtain back and share the impact you’re making with your boss or your board. You can also create content, share your ideas, and demonstrate thought leadership.  

You know what to do. So, why do you have a pit in the bottom of your belly when you think about doing them?

You likely have the best reasons why you can’t be more visible; you’re too busy and don’t have time, or you’ve convinced yourself that your hard work and years of building professional goodwill will be enough.  

There are a few reasons why putting yourself out there is easier said than done. 

  1. You’re likely out of practice. Consider what it would be like to date again after being in a committed relationship for a few years or a few decades. It would be uncomfortable and you’d wonder, how is this being done these days? 

  2. You’re not sure where to start. And that just leaves you feeling overwhelmed. 

  3. At a deeper level, it feels vulnerable. 

Let’s pause at #3 for a moment. It’s risky to put ourselves out there. You may feel uncomfortable when you share your clients' glowing feedback with your boss. When you prepare to give a talk, you may be flooded with doubts. When you put your name in the hat for a dream job, you risk getting passed over. 

This is why it’s so important for you to have safe visibility. If you force yourself “out there”, you may notice the impact; you’re filled with anxiety and worry. Basically, it’s not fun. Which makes it hard to do it again and again. Who wants to feel forced to do something that makes you miserable? 

Creating safe visibility is like building a strong and steady foundation for yourself. When you have it, you can show up, speak up, and have a presence in the room that’s true for you. Showing up will no longer be stressful, it will just be something you do. 

To start creating safe visibility, you need to recognize your inner state and know how to self-regulate. Safety starts in your body. 

While you’re doing that, let yourself take small steps. 

  • Create a plan that you can implement over time. 

  • Don’t be afraid to take your time. 

  • Celebrate each time you put yourself out there. 

  • Acknowledge yourself for your new practice. 

Don’t force yourself out there. Make it a gentle invitation. Set up a process where you can be safely visible consistently, without stress or overwhelm. 

If you’d like support on how to be safely visible, let’s talk. Book a discovery call with me here.