Facebook and Instagram feeds are flooded with pictures of graduation, prom and other big milestones. It’s a popular time of year for photos!
Getting your picture taken, even when among trusted loved ones, can feel incredibly stressful.
To avoid the camera, you may:
Always hide in the back or outer side of a group picture.
Wear dark or oversized clothes to blend in.
Volunteer to take the picture.
Encourage your group to take headshot selfies.
If this is you, you’re not alone. Having our picture taken, especially when we aren’t happy with how our bodies look, can feel risky. When you see the picture, you may immediately judge yourself and how you look. You naturally assume that people are judging you the same way you are.
If you’re not happy with your appearance or your body, it makes sense that you’re avoiding the camera. It’s the safer thing to do.
But this has a cost.
You’re spending a good deal of time and energy on these avoidance strategies. Seeing a picture of yourself after the fact, one that you’re not happy with may leave you spinning and hating your body even more.
One of my clients always avoided the camera when her kids were small. Now she regrets it. She looks back at family pictures and she’s not in them. She can’t recreate those memories, the time has passed.
Another Way
Disliking having your picture taken is not the problem, it’s just a symptom or reaction you’re having because of the relationship you have with yourself, specifically, your body.
Just like any relationship, it can change when you choose to heal it. This can take some time, intention and practice.
You can make a simple and easy shift today by changing what you focus on.
When you see a picture of yourself, you’re the observer of yourself. The observer is the part of you that judges, criticizes and compares by saying things like, “Uggh, look at those arms!”, “How did you let yourself go?”, “That dress does you no favors.” and “I’m the biggest person in the group”. No wonder having your picture taken feels painful.
When you focus on the sensations of your body, you can be present and emotionally and mentally available. You can notice what it feels like to be proud of your child graduating or grateful to be with family members you haven’t been with in a while. For many people, this can feel grounded and peaceful.
Your attention can’t be in two places at the same time. Move from the observer to the embodied.
I also invite you to take a risk. If you’ve always been one to hide in the back, move toward the front or center of the group. Notice what it’s like to let yourself be seen.
Be patient with yourself. This may take some time. But your efforts will be worth it.
Life when the camera isn’t something to be afraid of.
After working together for a few months, a client shared what happened when she returned from a family vacation. She looked at each picture with neutrality. “Oh, that’s me.” No gasp, no fear, no dissecting certain body parts, just fact. There she was, on the edge of the Grand Canyon. And thankfully, her fond memories were captured in a picture.