What do you do or avoid doing to not draw attention to yourself?
When I was in middle school, Mrs. Doyle called on me in math class. "Tara, you know the answer to this question." I did. She was right. But I didn't want the rest of the class to know.
My middle school self only knew I didn't want people looking at me. Now I know that speaking up in class was risky. I was bringing attention to myself; an opportunity for others to judge me.
When I sat quietly in class, I was keeping myself safe.
I now understand enough about safety and how humans protect themselves to appreciate how resourceful I was. If you've been flying under the radar by not sharing your ideas or asking insightful questions, you're also likely protecting yourself.
We hear common advice like "be fearless", "be bold" and "lean in".
It's important that you establish safety within yourself before you take this advice. Without safety, you'll force yourself to do something that causes stress and anxiety. This is one of the unique aspects of my coaching framework. Feel free to message me if you'd like to learn more.
When I was 12, not speaking up in class was the only way I knew to keep myself safe. Now, flying under the radar isn't helpful. It's painful because a force inside of us stays dormant. We don't acknowledge or recognize it within ourselves. Therefore we don't appreciate it and value it.
In summary-
- Recognize when you're flying under the radar.
- Appreciate how you've been keeping yourself safe.
- Practice creating safety for yourself. Reach out to me if you need more support.
- Experiment with ways to share your ideas and insights. Take small steps.