Getting Out of the Mud

Do you feel stuck? Like, feet in the mud and you can’t move no matter how hard you try to lift your legs stuck? Being stuck is such a powerless feeling. You may feel stuck around your job, the relationship you have with a friend or family member, or maybe an illness of someone you love.  Feeling stuck can leave us feeling pretty resigned and complacent, like things will never be any different. For me, I’ve often wondered- how do I ever get myself out of this mess? I can’t see a way out.

For the past few month, I’ve been feeling really stuck around my work schedule. I’ve got too much on my plate and it’s dragging me down.  Yes, I am doing everything I love- hanging with my husband and 3 kids, teaching yoga, creating a beautiful yoga community and continuing to work on my accounting and finance career.  But it ‘s one of those situations where I have too much to do and not enough time to do it in.  I’m sure everyone reading this probably feels the same way about their own schedule! I’m have been feeling overwhelmed and trapped.

Thankfully, I recently had a shift. Thanks to a personal transformation training I attended over the weekend, I now see things differently and I’ve tried it on for myself.

What if we choose what we have? I choose my work schedule. As soon as I said it out loud, I began to relax.  Yes, I choose it!  I choose my work schedule. Now, here comes the shift. I choose to feel calm and peaceful around my work schedule. Is that possible? Well, it wasn’t possible when I was fighting with my work schedule. It wasn’t when I hated my work schedule and I was just looking to fix it. It wasn’t possible when I felt victim to my work schedule and I was so focused on being at the mercy of my work schedule. This feels powerful. I can choose what I have and when I do, I can choose my way of being around that choice. This doesn’t mean I have to like my choice.  Choosing what we have creates ownership.  Since I’ve made this shift, I do feel much more calm and at ease.  I actually feel like I’ve made more time for myself and I’m more focused. I even feel more creative.  Now, if I choose to make a change, I know that I’m making that happen, it’s not happening to me.

I’m no longer stuck in the mud. My feet are on dryer ground and I feel like I can walk or even sprint in any direction I CHOOSE.  How about you? What’s in your life that you choose for yourself?

Dear Blog

Dear Blog~How are you? It’s been a while since I’ve come to visit. I can understand if you’ve been feeling a little neglected. It has been a few months after all. But know that I’ve been thinking of you every day. And often, in my car or in my kitchen, I think of a rockin’ topic to write about. I even think through how the blog entry will begin and how it may end.

So why haven’t I sat down to write it all out, you ask? I think I’ve gotten into some traps that a lot people can get into. Sometimes writing and sharing my thoughts openly and freely can be scary. It can be easy to avoid things we are afraid of. Sometime I think the idea or post needs to be really really good in order to be posted. It can be easy to have that “all or nothing” attitude. And lastly, it’s hard to admit that I’ve been prioritizing less important but more urgent things ahead of you. It can be easy to let others demands of our time take priority over things that really make our heart sing.

As you can see, I have some great excuses why I haven’t written. But I am writing here today. And surprisingly, just taking this step today was pretty easy. I’m grateful for that. I hope you are too.

My Best- Tara

A Perfect Day

Absolutely Amazing! That’s what snowboarding was like a few days ago. We were vacationing in Maine and spent the day at Mt Abram. As I think back to that day, what made it so special? Well, it started as I woke up to fresh snow falling from the sky.  If you are living in New England right now, you know how unusual it is to see it snowing this winter. I was filled with appreciation.  As we were driving to the mountain, I didn’t have any expectations of the day.  I wasn’t sure what it would be like to snowboard while it was snowing, but I felt open and willing. We got on the mountain mid morning and the snow was accumulating pretty fast.  On my very first run, I noticed how my board was just floating in and over the snow with little effort on my part. There was so much ease with no resistance.  I started going down much more challenging trails, ones that I wouldn’t normally take. Falling in the fresh snow felt like falling in a huge vat of cotton balls. It was fun and didn’t hurt one bit.  I was willing to take a risk without a concern of making a mistake.  Run after run, I had a big smile on my face. This was a blast! When I did fall, I just laughed big and got back up.  It was joyful and easy. And probably the biggest thing for me that made it so special, snowboarding that day felt really messy. It wasn’t pretty. My arms were swinging around, my turns were all over the place and I fell a ton. You certainly wouldn’t liken me to Shaun White (okay- maybe just with the crazy hair). But it wasn’t about how it looked that day. I didn’t need to it be neat and pulled together. I gave myself permission to be messy and with that, I felt a huge amount of freedom. I couldn't help but to draw some easy parallels between my snowboarding experience last week and how I want to live my life. Was the snow really what made that day so amazing? Was it something inside me, some clarity or connection? Was I just in a good mood? Does it even matter?

This morning, I woke up deciding to live like I’m on the top of a mountain. And yes, it’s snowing.

You Don’t Necessarily Have to Buy a Zoo

How often do we notice that we are afraid to do something and back down? We may be afraid of a conversation with a spouse, parent, or friend because of how we think the conversation will go. We may be afraid to let go of a habit because we think it’s too difficult and we will just end up in failure. We may be afraid to make a major life change, like a career change or a move, because we think being comfortable in the known is better than the uncomfortable in the unknown. My family and I saw “We Bought a Zoo” over the holiday break. In the movie, Matt Damon’s character, Benjamin Mee decides to move his family out of the city into a home with a former zoo attached to it. When Benjamin tries to reconnect with his teenage son, he tells him “You know, sometimes all you need is twenty seconds of insane courage. Just literally twenty seconds of just embarrassing bravery. And I promise you, something great will come of it.”

I love what Benjamin is offering here. My interpretation of this piece of advice is this “Look- there are things in your life that are going to scare the $hit out of you. But it’s just your ego trying to keep you in a comfortable and safe place. Comfortable and safe will not get you the amazing life you are meant to live. Please ignore your ego for just 20 seconds and welcome in the possibility of something awesome”.

Setting fear aside in our lives is a practice. Start small. Start with a big breath and just go for it- whatever that thing is that scares you the most. When you find out that taking some risks in your life doesn’t turn out with the world crashing down around you (like your ego may lead you to believe), then you will be ready to take on more. You can buy your zoo. Just take a deep breath.

I’d love to hear from you. Let me know how it goes!

Lifting the Holiday Fog

Happy Holidays to you! How are you this holiday season? According to every Christmas card you have received, every commercial on the television and every song you have heard on the radio, you are suppose to be merry and bright. Are you feeling merry and bright? Family comes into town, schedules get thrown off, the kids are home from school and life happens. For some (okay, many), including me, the holidays may have some moments of feeling merry and bright, but the holidays may have some moments of feeling not so merry and pretty dull and grey. This holiday season brought some big awareness into how I’ve been living through these times. I notice how easy it is for me to shut down, put a wall up, and turn to things like TV, Facebook, another glass of wine or some extra holiday fudge and cookies for what may seem like initial relief. I’m creating a fog over my thinking, my emotions and my personal connections. There were times when I checked out and disconnected and I didn’t realize I was even doing it.

Did you create a haze for yourself this holiday season? If the answer is yes, be grateful for the awareness. This awareness is like a spot light slicing through that fog. The fog is lifting when you realize you are in it. From there, it’s all about connection. When I think back to the past few days of my holiday fog, I realize that I’ve been holding my breath. That is how I connect, with my breath. As I realize I’m breathing in and out, I see more clearly. Things around me come into focus. I feel lighter and brighter. As I keep connected to my breath, the rest of this holiday season will certainly be merrier and brighter. I wish each of you breath and connection for this holiday season and beyond!